Sunday, February 23, 2014

Woosah Day 1

So I took my first go at meditation today. Interesting. I lasted 22 minutes. No meditation music, it was just my LOUD ass thoughts, the cars going by, two trains going by, and the dog whining downstairs. I generally find stereotypical meditation music to be annoying. But now I see why its needed. I dont have the discipline YET to sit there and not let thoughts roam all over the place and control how I'm feeling in that moment. The goal for today was to focus on my breathing. When other stuff would roam into my thoughts, I would recognize that I wasnt focusing, and fix it. This was extremely challenging and something that I just haven't done unless I'm trying to remember something. I was thinking about EVERYTHING under the sun....just so it wouldn't be silence in my head. I can be in my thoughts alot. I guess all the noise in my head is music when there's none actually playing. I spent the last 5 minutes praying for everybody I know. While I know its a good thing, I wonder if praying positive things into the people you love contradicts the whole purpose of meditation?  Prayer and meditation are both needed, so I have to figure out the balance for me, I see.
The goal is to live 24 hours a day with control over my thoughts and be present in my actions. That's some discipline I have yet had the pleasure of meeting. Now Im not trying to be serious all the time, just present and accounted for ALL the dang ol time. I have a tendency to go with my feelings and then let God. That doesnt always work out well.
Well, God wants me to be more proactive about how I treat myself and others. I do know that! Still sorting through it all but I think I get it! Or pieces of the goal of meditation. My Momma should be so proud! But I aint telling her yet. She be getting mushy and all I TOLD YOU SO. Ill put HER up on game soon ;-)

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