I've kind of always thought that being about it was better than talking about IT. And I've never really been a talker. But speaking what I want into existence isn't such a bad thing either.
I guess balance is the challenge.

Meditationary thoughts n shit.
Meditation time: 10 minutes

Love.

I was gone for a minute, now I'm back.

Morning meditation:
Lasted 8 minutes. 😣
Checked my email and Instagram and tried again. Lasted 5 minutes.

Imma try not to make this a Jack Handy lookin-ass/Drake writing-ass-blog but today I feel like it. My memory is short so lemme write a couple things that came to me as I focused on this breathing. In no particular order:

See, I forgot the first thing already. Shit!

Don't lay in temptation. Literally or figuratively. Mostly figuratively tho. 😎

I'm such a work in progress but I have to get a hold on these nerves.

I was supposed to focus on love and my breathing but that didn't happen. There's a mountain of other things floating around my brain.

The right meditation soundtrack......

Still haven't found one. From what my meditating homies tell me, its kind of important. A soundtrack would make focusing much easier than dead silence or my neighbors howling dog. Just like cleaning my crib or DRIVING is easier when music is playing I guess.

Anywho, I broke down like a simp and not a pimp while meditating. On a regular day I'm all "can't cry about what is and what what was so just k.i.m." And I'm old enough to recognize suppressing my undesirable feelings don't make them go away, they just get saved for later. Meditation is making me live in whatever I'm feeling at the moment. I still don't know how I feel about that. Never thought it would be so hard to practice my feelings and shit.

----"My heart don't pump no slushie" tho. 
:-) BigBoi-Y'all scared

My nerves bad.

Can't say I have been keeping to my promise to myself to meditate @ least 3 Xs a week.... But everyday is brand new...like today. So let's get it! ...

But yeah, I been cussin at people in traffic again. This cussing thing is not conducive to my meditation tho. Lawdy, I need one vice......what's left?�� F that. I ain't quitting. Cussing cuts out verboseness so it is purposeful.

25 minutes rite now!

Progress.....

At some point I am going to change the name of this blog or put a disclaimer somewhere at the top so folk dont feel bamboozled if they happen up on this here blog. Still love shoes, but I moved my shoe photography/love to Instagram: @indiestroll. Technology changed on a sista(h).

Anywho, I meditated today.  Still not on a consistent schedule but I felt more centered after.  I focused on Gods light today.....where ever that is.  This is something that I struggle with sometimes. I know God is here but sometimes I need a tap on the shoulder.  I'm a visual person. Especially when me and my family are going thru tough times.  So yeah, this is something I'm going to practice and incorporate with my breathing until I fee like Gods light, where ever it is, is still sitting on my shoulder all day. 

Obstacles to meditation today were: dog downstairs barked a lil, not much this time.  I can now guess beforehand howmany times the train conductor is going to honk the horn, depends on if its a freight or Metra. My phone. My phone NEVER rings like this.  People must of felt me aligning my chakras n shit.

Successes: I was able to focus MUCH better this time.

Woosah Day 1

So I took my first go at meditation today. Interesting. I lasted 22 minutes. No meditation music, it was just my LOUD ass thoughts, the cars going by, two trains going by, and the dog whining downstairs. I generally find stereotypical meditation music to be annoying. But now I see why its needed. I dont have the discipline YET to sit there and not let thoughts roam all over the place and control how I'm feeling in that moment. The goal for today was to focus on my breathing. When other stuff would roam into my thoughts, I would recognize that I wasnt focusing, and fix it. This was extremely challenging and something that I just haven't done unless I'm trying to remember something. I was thinking about EVERYTHING under the sun....just so it wouldn't be silence in my head. I can be in my thoughts alot. I guess all the noise in my head is music when there's none actually playing. I spent the last 5 minutes praying for everybody I know. While I know its a good thing, I wonder if praying positive things into the people you love contradicts the whole purpose of meditation?  Prayer and meditation are both needed, so I have to figure out the balance for me, I see.
The goal is to live 24 hours a day with control over my thoughts and be present in my actions. That's some discipline I have yet had the pleasure of meeting. Now Im not trying to be serious all the time, just present and accounted for ALL the dang ol time. I have a tendency to go with my feelings and then let God. That doesnt always work out well.
Well, God wants me to be more proactive about how I treat myself and others. I do know that! Still sorting through it all but I think I get it! Or pieces of the goal of meditation. My Momma should be so proud! But I aint telling her yet. She be getting mushy and all I TOLD YOU SO. Ill put HER up on game soon ;-)

I sell shoes though.  See me on INDIESTROLL 
or link up with me on instagram: @indiestroll

These are a few of my favorite shoes.

Finally got a youtube, talking about my favorite shoes in my collection. If you like, like. I will update my blog today....I'm determined. What yall know good?

This is my first post in a long while, again. Well, what's really new and good with ya'?  Nothing but good vibes for 2014 over here. Really looking to maintain and continue to seek even more happiness and peace. Anybody out there in to meditation. I have been talking about doing it for the past week. I dont know why I'm so scared to experience long periods of silence that require me to listen to myself.  I guess its the city girl in me. This desire to meditate partly sprung from watching a documentary called the Dhamma Brothers where Vapissana meditation was used to transform and rehabilitate men that were inmates at a maximum security prison. Just seeing their newly found focus, discipline, and hapiness that came from it was inspiring.  So I guess I do have a new year's resolution.....late as usual. Oh, one more thing about the docu.  It surprised me how so many people were against anything that might increase the chances of these men reentering society successfully. Meditation is free yet they were getting pushback because the prison was in the Bible Belt.......
Anywho, we'll see how disciplined I am about blogging. I will be using this as a general outlet about everything not just as an outfit mirror and shoe sounding board. OHHHH, almost forgot, I opened up a shoe store and its called: INDIESTROLL.COM
@indiestroll on instagram
@brownie424
All of my picture collections are pretty much on instagram / indiestroll.com now. And more than likely if you were following me on here, I probably have already found you there. Love picture blogging!  Hope you are enjoying the new year.

Shoes: Guess Givie - Better Pic: http://instagram.com/p/gCmQT2q5bj/
Jeggings: Hue
Top: Target
Blazer: Target